Hot dog horrors
Since my friend Melanie was grossed out by the Fig Newton story from last week, I thought I would share another gross food story. After church yesterday, my wife and I got hot weiners for lunch. If you're not from New England, hot weiners are covered with onions, mustard, and a mystery meat sauce I believe to be hamburger. I got three "all the way" and an order of fries. First, let me give you some background. Today, I will eat virtually anything, but when I was a kid, I had a terrible appetite. For a while, I would only eat mustard sandwiches, sardines, and grape juice. But now, I'll eat anything.

After I ate the first dog, I started to get a queasy feeling. Sometimes when you get hot weiners, there is a certain rubbery texture to the skin of the dog that makes it kind of snap back when you bite it. I started to eat the second one. Snap! Snap! Burp! Snap! Retch! That's when I wrapped up the rest of the dogs and threw them away. I think if I had eaten the rest of them, I would have barfed. And if you think three hot weiners "all the way" are gross going down, you should see them when they're coming from the other direction.