Bush under oath
I'm not going to comment on the State of the Union speech because the bar has been set so low for Bush. One television commentator last night said, "He has really mastered..." and then paused. I was waiting for him to say "...the English language." Bush's debate performances against Gore were terrible but the media had the script that Gore was a smarty-pants and if Bush didn't wet himself, then goshdarn it, he surpassed expectations.

I'd like to return to Whitewater for a minute. Remember that? The Clintons invested $40,000, which they lost, and the Republicans spent $40 million investigating him. They found nothing, but they got to put the President under oath and ask him about his sex life, which had a lot to do with a land deal in Arkansas.

Let's imagine for a minute that the Democrats could put President Bush under oath, maybe for selling his stock in Harken Energy right before it tanked. Bush, of course, was cleared by the SEC chairman, who just happened to be a Bush I appointee and had done legal work for Junior in the past. (I'm not making this up!)

So here are my 10 questions for an under-oath President GW Bush:

1. Have you ever been arrested?
2. Have you ever used cocaine?
3. Where were you when you were supposed to be finishing your National Guard service?
4. In the summer of 2001, were you briefed by Condi Rice about the possibility of terrorists using planes as weapons against American targets?
5. If so, why did you proceed to take the month of August off?
6. Why did you need a month-long vacation anyway, seeing as you had only been on the job for seven months?
7. Do you know anyone else who gets a month-long vacation? Just kidding, Mr. President.
8. On September 12, 2001, when all air travel was suspended, why did your Administration allow members of the Bin Laden family who were in America to be picked up by a private jet and flown out of the country? (The only explanation the Administration has given to this point is that they were concerned for their safety. Huh?)
9. In the 2003 State of the Union speech, you decried the international sex trade. Does the fact that your brother Neil has admitted to cavorting with prostitutes in Thailand and Hong Kong bother you?
10. Where's Osama?

That's it. I can guarantee you as I sit here today that if he placed his hand on the Bible and swore to tell the whole truth, that President Bush would lie in response to every one of these questions.

But since they don't have to do with his sex life, who cares?